Hi!!!!! thxxx for checking out my first post! <3

Its about 8:30 AM on a Thursday morning and I am working my new coffee shop/bar job and who else should appear through the windows of the shop other than three hotshot looking guys parking their hotshot car in front of the shop. First appearances - One well put together van life looking guy, one soul sucking office job looking guy and another guy. They push the door to my shop open and smugly look around the place as if they own it. Fuck you.

The place Im working these days, East Atlanta Coffee, is probably the most horribly run business I have ever worked for. Although I hate every second of it, thats only because Im sick and tired of working at coffee shops. The fact that its horribly run isnt a complaint at all. I actually really love that about my job. I can do whatever I want so long as customers are served, and we dont really get much business. Usually, I spend my whole shift screwing around on my phone, reading or eating free bagels with cream cheese, lox and capers in the back.

No one is here but me, my quiet coworker who is currently waiting to make food in the kitchen and the three of them. They come to the counter: Office guy first, van life guy second and the other guy third. I hate all three of them equally purely because of the manner in which they walked into my shop. They were just far too loud. The hierarchy of hatred I had formed in my head quickly shifted when the office job looking guy who was not from Spain ordered a cafe con leche. Fuck you. Van life guy I decide I actually quite like. Hes very polite and sweet. He also has a nice smile. Plus he got a plain coffee. No frills. Easy for me. The other guy is extremely difficult and tops my hate list after he dicks me around for like three minutes cracking jokes and asking me about my headphones. Plus he orders a hot toddy, mind you its 8:30 in the morning, and asks for it to be made with ginger tea which we dont have. Fuck you. He has to settle for one made with mint tea.

Our shop is set up with a coffee counter and bar. Two separate entities on two opposite sides of the shop. Therefore to make the drink, I had to make the tea at the coffee counter and then run over to the bar to put the whisky in the drink. Im actually grateful for this because the amount of running all over the place meant I could likely shake these three off my back. In our short conversation together, these guys appeared to have taken a liking to me and it seemed as if the conversation would never end. After some thought, I decided that I would make the hot toddy last. This way, I could run over to the bar, put the whisky in the tea, place the drink down at the bar and then run back behind the coffee counter, losing them in the shuffle.

Its at this point I would like to add, I actually quite like talking to customers. I believe some of the most valuable conversations I have ever had have been with strangers so most of the time I tend not to shy away from conversations with them. Working as a barista provides you with a plethora of strangers to interact with and actually, a customer just convinced me to make a major life change which I hope to write about soon. Point being, It was these customers that I did not want to talk to.

I put the tea bag into the cup of hot water and race over to the bar quickly picking up the bottle of Jack Daniels and measuring it out as fast as I could, spilling whisky on the bar mat and on my left hand holding the shot glass. I dump it out into the cup and then turned around to quickly drop the tea off at the bar and run back behind the coffee counter. It's too late. They are sitting at the bar directly in front of me. I only then realized I had screwed myself. The coffee counter didnt have any seats. Had I made the Hot Toddy at the bar first and the other two drinks at the coffee counter second, I would have been stuck in a three to five minute conversation with them. However, now I am stuck behind the bar, with two people I disliked plus van life guy (who I was still partial to) sitting at the bar in front of me.

I am eyeing down what could have perhaps be a half hour conversation with no hope for retribution via a customer coming in, making an order, and saving me. This, not only because we dont really get customers, but also because my coworker saw I had moved behind the bar, and had come to hold down the coffee counter. My meticulous plan to avoid this conversation wasnt as well thought as I thought. It should have been liquor first, not coffee first.

Anyways, here I am, behind the bar. Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide and nothing to do to avoid talking to the really annoying people in front of me. In the midst of me accepting my situation I didnt say a word and thus they preoccupied themselves while waiting for me to snap out of my frustration. On the right with his eyes focused on his apple watch, presumably checking the status of stocks or whatever was office guy. In the middle watching a snowboarding instagram reel was van life guy. All the way to the right, grasping his Hot Toddy was the other guy. As opposed to a screen his eyes were affixed to mine, not half heartedly, very intently, as if trying to read my thoughts and undress me simultaneously. Somehow, however, none of it came across as flirtatious. Nonetheless It was an extremely violating stare and it made me very uncomfortable. In an attempt to feel some power in the situation I haphazardly attempted to mirror his gaze back on him.

My disdain for his approach to ordering coffee had prevented me from defining any of his distinguishing characteristics. He was actually quite a good looking man. Currently sitting, he probably stood at roughly six-foot-two, he wore a tight fitting white tee shirt only barely visible as it was covered by a beautiful Perugian jet black leather Brunelli Cucinelli jacket. Adorned in matching silver earrings, several gemmed rings and a offensively shiny belt buckle engraved with roses, thorns and all. Mr. Handsome clearly cared about his appearance. What really struck me about him however was the halo of confidence surrounding him. He embodied arrogance, retrospectively the way he ordered his Hot Toddy reflected this arrogance too.

He spoke clearly and eloquently, addressing me as someone would address someone they trusted deeply. Each word out of his mouth felt deliberate and thick with reason. Nothing flowery, his syntax was relatively abrasive and straightforward. All of the artistry in his speech came from his delivery. His words slid off of his tongue as thick as mud, perfectly drawing out each syllable as if he had rehearsed it a thousand times over. His hands ebbed and flowed telling a story of their own, but they would swiftly halt when a sentence was over as if to further explain to me, someone perhaps less capable of comprehension than someone of his caliber, that he was done with his thought. Mr. Handsomes pomposity normally would piss me off. Especially in combination with his earlier actions. But they didnt. As a matter of fact, it did quite the opposite, it drew me right in. I fell in love with the web of his life he was spinning for me.

Office guy and van life guy had gone on talking to each other about something rather, it didnt really matter. They didnt really matter. Just as quickly as they came, they left. I shook hands with Mr. Handsome and before I knew it he was out of my life forever.

When the magic of his demeanor disappeared all I was left with were his words and slowly but surely my interest in Mr. Handsome had turned back into hatred again and I realized I had been duped into enjoying a 30 minute conversation with who at the very least, someone who needed someone - not me - to talk to.

"I want you to know that the only reason I ordered liquor this early in the morning is because I worked a long shift yesterday and I didnt have time to have my drink last night. I know you get it. I know youve seen your fair share of nights that ended too soon for you to enjoy them. You just look like it." Mr. Handsome looks at me and says.

"I do. What were you doing anyways?" I was forced to reply.

"I work at a restaurant on Ponce. Its definitely a nice spot, you know a place you would take a girl on a third or fourth date. Rather, a place you would take a girl on a third or fourth date when you have two to three hundred dollars to drop on her. The reason I make the distinction is because you see me, Im a bartender. I dont have two to three hundred dollars to spend on a third or fourth date let alone myself. The clientele however, they do, hell a two or three hundred dollar date might even be the check for a first day for these people. Anyways we had a late table. I didnt get home till late, hence no drink."

"Three hundred for two must be some place"

"It is"

"Whats it called anyways"

"Doesnt even matter youre not gonna go anyways"

"Thats true"

"Can I ask you about yourself?"

"Sure" I thought it was polite he asked.

"I like the way you present yourself now. I like the way you look and sound. I had a tough childhood finding myself wise. I was ugly, I had acne and I was skinny. Im not now because I work hard at it. "

"Ok"

"I loved anime too and couldnt stop talking about it for the life of me.I leaned into it on my own time and stopped talking about it so much out loud. Except for right now I suppose. Im actually writing a manga right now."

"Thats very cool"

"I think so too. How do you feel about all that? Does any of that resonate with you?"

"I suppose. I used to be a lot heavier and I lost weight. I think I grew into myself more as well."

"I could sense that in you. This is why I need to get at you about something."

"Huh"

"These guys next to me theyre my friends but truthfully they arent all there. They both have girlfriends - of years - but they act like theyve never seen let alone talked to a woman in their lives. I cant talk to them about anything within that sphere; they dont really get it. Plus they have never been, you know, adversely affected socially by their appearances or actions. In the same way that maybe you or I were."

"Ok"

"People like us, I feel like, would have similar attitudes about certain things. Im talking about intimacy. Are you okay with this so far?"

"Yeah"

"I live with two people, a woman and a man and theyre dating but unhappy."

"Ok"

"I come home a few nights back drunk as all, and this girl is crying on the couch. Shes not fully dressed. But roommates become friends by the nature of it. So we were friends. So when she beckoned for me, although hesitantly, I came. You know?"

"Yeah I get it"

"She all but jumps on me and touches me in that way."

"Ok"

"The boy comes out as if he had a sixth sense for knowing her every move. Mind you, again, my friend this boy."

"Yeah"

"He gave me this look. the look, of one who has seen something ungodly, and says to me please, im begging you, please dont fuck my girlfriend. Now what am I to do? What position am I in? Tell me right now, what would you do?"

"I would never put myself in this position."

"Of course not. But this is where I find myself and what now?"

"I..."

"Right right right...get out from under her and go to bed. Discuss in the morning. Sensible. Intimacy isnt sensible, theres nothing sensible about it and thats kind of the whole point of intimacy in the first place. You open yourself up to someone and show them all of yourself. Who else do you do that with? Sense flies out the window, sense is lost, its all nonsense. Thats the point and thats why people love it. Its fun, you dont do it with just anyone, its exciting, exillerating. No? You see me."

"Yeah"

"Do you know what its like to have someone say that to you? Please dont fuck my girlfriend while you are... well when your dick is hard and pressed into said girlfriend!"

"No clue what that would be like."

"Look at me. Because when I have told others about this they take it like Im seeking praise and based on the way youre looking at me now I can tell youre veering towards looking at me that way which I get. Who am I anyways? But Im telling you this because it was so much for me. Too much for me. Sex is emotional. There are strings attached always no matter what. Giving yourself up to someone like that requires it. This felt sticky, it was sticky and I knew that then and I certainly know that now after ruminating on it for some time. The boy, my friend, looking at me dead in the eye and begging me not to fuck his girlfriend, it hurt me. This is all a negative for me. This is me telling you that, and I know you can look at me and see that."

"I can"

"So tell me Andy, what do I do?"

"Move out I suppose"

"Right I am, what else?"

"Move on as well"

" Andy my friend..."

"What do you mean?"

"How do I learn to be ok with this? The emotions that come in this territory? I feel like every sexual encounter Ive had as of late, which is relatively much for me because of the work Ive done on myself, only hurts me or someone. The only reason I say that its relatively much for me recently is to emphasize like... fuck man ive never had these problems before."

"Im not sure"

"I suppose how could I expect you too, youre just like me. We already went over this."

Office guy and van life guy butted in saying nothing, adding nothing. Quickly, that fucking guy I was having the conversation with went right back to giggling. Office guy suggested they leave which they promptly did.

"Thank you. Thank you for listening."

He shook my hand and left. That was all.

After unpacking this interaction in my mind and trying to figure out why this guy got to me so good, is I find it hard to look through delivery. A messenger usually uses their delivery to show their message more than the words they choose. A good manipulator is good at using their delivery to change their message all together while saying the words they need to say. It's a warm sunny Thursday morning in a thriving and beautiful Atlanta neighborhood and I'm a bartender serving a manga author a drink while listening to him suck his own dick about his sex life in front of me and eating up every last word of it. Now there is almost no doubt in my mind I was talking to what has to be one of the world's biggest tools. But a tool who was very good at delivery.

I just thought this was an interesting interaction I had. <<<333 thx for readinggggg